• Melissa Kartini

Should You Date Multiple People at Once?

Updated: Aug 6, 2018

With online dating gaining more and more popularity in recent years, it is only natural that this question too gain prominence.

Now, without us getting into the sticky debate of which dating style should reign over all, be it dating one person at a time, multiple at once or none at all because to you, arranged marriage is the way to go, let’s take a look at why some people choose to date more than one simultaneously.

Bear in mind, we’re talking about dating, not exclusive relationships. With that cleared up, let’s go!

It’s a good way to build your confidence

Know those pesky last-minute jitters that have a nasty habit of showing up, right till the day of your date? And sometimes even during the date itself?

By dating multiple people at once, you’ll find that these bundles of nerves will eventually ease to a mere murmur, until they one day go away- at least almost completely. As you can imagine, this newfound confidence will help your dates go more smoothly, and hey, you might even start meeting amazing people you are attracted to.

Why? Because by working on your inside, you’ll meet amazing people who’ll do you justice- because by this time, you’d know and demand the respect that you deserve.

It’ll improve your dating skills

Dating is very much like attending a job interview. You meet a potential someone, chat with them, get to know them and by the end of the date (or string of dates), you decide whether you’d like to continue seeing this person. Sounds pretty easy, no?

Unfortunately for some, it is easier said than done. Some of us just aren’t as comfortable with initiating and holding a conversation with someone new. Fortunately, however, this is a skill that can be learned, and with time, you’ll also learn how to navigate your way through the other aspects of dating, as well as be able to pick out the red flags, if any.

It’s a way to expand your network

Who knows. Unsuccessful match ups don’t necessarily have to drop out of your radar. Perhaps you two sound like a perfect match online, but there’s no chemistry when you actually do meet. And that’s okay. If you’re lucky, you might just end up with a shiny new friend, and that’s not a bad thing at all.

It helps to know that you won’t get very far in life if you don’t work on expanding your social network- so get out there and get to know more people! It’ll only do you more good in the end.

It’ll give you a better idea of what you want in a partner

When you have the abundance of choice, you’ll be more aware of the options that are available to you. And this, my friend, is something you wouldn’t realise if you severely limit your dating options from the get go.

It is here that you’ll get a better idea of what you do and do not want in a partner. And if you have some pre-existing notion of what your ideal partner is, meeting new people might make you realise there are better matches out there for you. This, in turn, will also help you avoid settling for someone who isn’t that good a fit for you, all because you are unaware of the choices out there.

It’ll help you avoid putting all your eggs in one basket

Ever feel devastated that the person you’re seeing just isn’t that into you? The realisation of all the time, energy and emotional investment you put into that one person comes crashing down on you, and you agonise over what you did or didn’t do to cause them to lose interest. It’s exhausting and heartbreaking, to say the least.

By dating multiple people at once, you’ll avoid putting all your eggs in one basket (and potentially scaring them off too early!). It’ll help you be less emotionally attached, and most importantly, allow you to make choices more objectively. And should one person drop out of your dating life, the sting will lessen as well.

What’s more, this style of dating takes the pressure off having to impress that one person you’re meeting. It’ll be easier to relax and just be yourself.

All of this being said, dating multiple people at once isn’t for everyone. Some might find it overwhelming or not their thing altogether, even if it’s something as simple as just getting to know new people, and that’s okay. Just do you and make sure if you do go for this dating style, you’re open and honest about it if questioned.

After all, no one likes being led on!

Written by Crunch's Melissa Kartini

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