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How To Set Healthy Personal Boundaries In Your Relationship

Updated: Jan 7

by Syeda Maliha. |


Oftentimes, in a relationship, we set certain expectations only for them to be shattered. Have you ever felt like your emotions are less valued? Or reached a tipping point and thought to yourself, enough is enough?


To put it simply, if we think of relationships as plants, they must be nurtured with water, air and sunlight. But what happens when we give it too much care? The plant may die, and similarly, every relationship needs space to grow with patience and compassion. When rooting for a relationship - be it with family, friends or a romantic one - we must acknowledge our own limits and how much we can tolerate with.


So, how do we set healthy personal boundaries in our relationships?

Know your limits


It is necessary to identify your own physical, emotional, mental and spiritual limits. When certain interactions or situations leave you feeling uncomfortable and you are unable to tolerate them, it is important to acknowledge your limitations, and maybe take a step back from the uncomfortable encounter.


Remember this, you should never be afraid to say a no. Oftentimes, we tend to please people by trying to not hurt their feelings. You should never feel bad for setting boundaries, or be worried that the people around you will react negatively. After all, real friends will respect your decision and not pressure you into doing anything that you’re not comfortable with.

Never rely on someone else


We rely on our partners for support, love and companionship, but there are some aspects of living that belong to us alone. To set healthy boundaries, it is important to practice self-reliance.


This is because if we rely too much on a person, it will be difficult to say ‘no’ out of guilt for going against their expectations, views or values. We may even go to the extent of trying too hard to please a person, and when that happens too often, we end up being taken for granted.

Be direct and specific


It is important to realize that people are not able to read minds. If something is bothering you, it is important to voice out that a line has been crossed. This is to ensure that the people around you realize that their actions may be wrong and not repeat them. Remember, you have every right to be vocal about your opinions! This way, both parties will not end up hurt.

Manage your expectations


To have a healthy relationship, it is important to set and manage expectations. Being aware of certain expectations will ensure that your partner knows what you’re thinking, rather than just playing the guessing game.


It is also important to not set too high of an expectation towards someone. This is because the higher the expectation, the more disappointment you’ll feel when your expectation is not met. It is always good to be practical and live with realistic goals.

To sum it up, to be in a happy and healthy relationship, it is always good to put yourself first and identify words or actions that can crush you. When you identify your own needs and wants, then it is easier for you to set your own boundaries. Be direct and specific with your needs and wants, and never set high expectations.

You can find out more about the author on Instagram.



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