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Realistic Ways to Build Self-Confidence in Your 20s

Updated: Jul 17, 2019

by Han Hanan. |


Being in our twenties, we face a lot of insecurities in our life as we transition to being an adult. It could be about our own body, our love life, our goals and sometimes even the measly things like our pimples. There's no doubt that those insecurities somehow will make us question ourselves and our value, and in the end, we end up degrading ourselves and lose our self esteem.


There are a lot of ways on how to build self confidence. But is it applicable for us? There is no 'one-size fits all' kind of method especially during this confusing phase in our life as each of us transition differently. Below is some of the ways I find it helpful for myself and hopefully it would help you out in some way or another like it has for me:



1. Understand and accept your flaws.


Oddly enough, I find it easier to be confident when I accept that I’m not perfect. I mean c’mon we’re human, we make mistakes but what about it (especially when it's unintentional)? It doesn’t define that we’re worthless or you're never gonna regain back your boss' trust again.


Don't be too hard on yourself if you were to make mistakes even if they were to leave a permanent scar. Things will get better overtime, slowly but surely. It means that somehow we are good at being a perfectly imperfect human. We have to learn how to forgive ourselves too and the importance to believe that you will improve and learn from these mistakes.


If you find it hard to accept yourself, try to at least tell yourself in the morning something you'd want to achieve at the end of the day or as simple as affirmations. By telling yourself those things, it will make you feel a better and it can help build your confidence little by little.



2. Self-care

We would often look upon others and admiring their so called perfect life on Instagram, while on the other hand we forget about taking care of ourselves that we end up always comparing our life with theirs.


Self-care is important and we need to look out for ourselves first before we look upon others. Take time for yourself, take a break when you need to and do what you love to do. Self-care doesn’t come from physical aspect but also mentally. It's important to feed your soul with positivity like meditating or as simple as reading self-care books or autobiographies to name a few. If you're not into reading, you could opt to listen to podcasts or audiobooks.


Give time to take care of your mental health the same you would take care of your physical health.



3. Learn when to say 'NO'.

Image: Freepik


There are times, we find it hard to say NO to our colleagues or friends. We end up making promises or agreeing to plans or situations when we don’t even want to do so but find it hard say NO to it.


We should to start practising to say NO. It doesn’t mean we should simply reject to suit our convenience but we need to determine what kind of promises or situations we can or can’t commit to. Because let's face it, you'll dread to do the work Eventually, we will feel confident enough in doing more in our life rather than making promises we can’t exactly commit to.



4. Choose your friends wisely.

You know how you've been told when you're young to not be easily influenced; to not be heavily dependent on your friends decisions? During this phase, we'll find ourselves caught in certain situations and realise that not everyone will always be there for you in terms of support.



Choose to be close to friends who not only supports you, boosts your self confidence but also not afraid to give you constructive criticism. Choose a friend that both of you can feel comfortable and honest with each other. However, we're also not saying that you should strictly pick and choose your friends to your advantage. It should work both ways - to have a friendship that is supportive from both parties. And sometimes, we just got to ignore the negativity and remarks given by some friends or that jealous colleague of yours.


Don’t determine your life based on how many friends you have because not all friends will be there for you. Some will just get a good laugh with you and that’s it. So, we need to know our own worth and value from our friend’s perspective.


Of course, this takes time to build the habit and to gain the confidence but these are the little things that will add up. I hope that these way will benefit you in one way our another. And to be honest, I am still on the road to building my self-confidence as well and I hope that we can go through along this journey very well and end up becoming a best version of ourselves.


Till then, take care!


You can find out more about Han on her Instagram too.

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