• Melissa Kartini

#MyFamBam: 10 Ways Your Life Changes After Becoming a Father

Updated: Aug 6, 2018

Everyone tells you that having a baby would change your life. And honestly speaking? How right they are.

But while we’ve heard plenty of stories when it comes to mothers, what about the major life changes that happen to fathers? Surely there are changes they’ve gone through as well. This is a subject that we don’t always get to touch upon, so in light of Father’s Day, let’s bring some much-needed attention to the beloved father figures in our lives.

Here we go! A list of life changes after becoming a father. This is for the guys.

You’ll feel unprepared

Much like that one time you did not study for a huge exam, once you become a father, you’ll walk into your home with nary an idea as to what to do. Overwhelmed, confused and anxious, you’d look all around you for answers, and won’t find a cheat sheet to save your neck. What are you supposed to do? Is there a right answer when it comes to raising a child?

I’m afraid not, and now that you’re suddenly responsible for a child, it feels all the more nerve-wracking. It just isn’t fair, is it? Aren’t you supposed to know everything now that you’re an adult? On the upside, though, new parents are at as much of a loss as you are.

You’ll crave some “me” time

What is “me” time even once you have a kid in the house? As far as your child is concerned, the fact that you’re using the bathroom is not a big deal. In fact, they probably wouldn’t mind toddling in while you’re inside, just to ask you a question about a shiny new thing they had just learned about.

And being their father, you cannot help but to sigh and answer. It is not as though you could get mad at them. (All you can do is resign yourself to this fate until they are old enough to not require near constant monitoring.)

You’ll become more selfless

There’s nothing quite like being responsible for a tiny, defenseless being to turn you into a more selfless person. By having to think about someone else more, you’ll learn to be less selfish, to give and to be more considerate. This won’t apply to just your child, either. By becoming a father, you’ll learn to be a better person in general.

Who knew that a tiny being could help you learn to become a more well-rounded adult?

Feeling more loved

One of the perks of being a father is the feeling of being more loved- often, in ways that you feel are more than you truly deserve. Not that you don’t deserve them, but the feeling is very much there.

You’d grow to love and adore this doting being so much that once your child has grown and has started rebelling, you might feel the bitter injustice of it all. What happened to the little one who used to hang onto your every word as though they meant everything in the world? What happened to the kid who used to look up at you as though you were the strongest, smartest person in the room?

Why do kids have to grow up so fast?

You’ll have better coping skills

The thing about being a dad is that you’ll have to learn to cope with a lot of stress- and I mean, a lot. And with time, you’ll learn to be pretty darn good at it. Soon enough, you’ll handle problems with your child that used to turn you into a nervous wreck with a relative level-headed ease. This won’t apply to the way you cope with stress at home either.

The same goes for just about every aspect of your life.

Your social circle will mostly consist of other parents

As you enter the next phase of your life, you’ll inevitably find yourself surrounded by friends who are parents as well. Even though you’ll miss your old pals, this is also a good thing. You’ll have friends who might have been in this game for a lot longer than you have, and they’ll have awesome tidbits to share with you. Want to know what the best kindergartens are for your child? Just give them a second while they draw up a list of recommendations for you.

Of course, you should also make sure to block out time for your old mates too. They’re an important of your life as well.

You’ll always want to earn more

The drive to be a better provider for your family will be a fantastic motivator to help improve your performance at work. Granted, it is now common for both men and women to work, but that still doesn’t change the feeling. There’ll always be expenses you can think of for your children. Food, clothes, school tuition fees, toys, books, the list can go on. This isn’t even including money you’d like to save for a rainy day.

You’ll feel frustrated with your physical limitations

This one is a bit unexpected, but if you have any shred of decency in you, the surprise will come. How? Perhaps it might not sink in during the initial stages of your partner’s pregnancy, but it will once she starts experiencing the strains of entering motherhood. While she is exhausted and aching from having to carry your child in her womb all day, all you can do to help her is to make her feel as comfortable as possible.

And while she nurses your child whenever they’re hungry, again, all you can do is ensure she is as comfortable as possible. If your baby prefers drinking from the bottle, that’s great, but to you, this one thing you can do might pale in comparison.

You’ll adopt a new image

No longer will you be that one cool guy who is a grade A athlete. Now that you have a kid, you’re known as a dad- which is a cool image in its own right. As time passes, should other people you know start expecting children of their own, you’ll be their number one guy to turn to whenever they need any advice. Who better to ask than someone who has already done it all?

The love you feel for your child is off the charts

Even though you know that you’ll love your child, nothing can quite prepare you for the actual feeling once they’re born. The rush of emotion when you hold them for the first time, the surge of protectiveness whenever you think something might hurt them- it’s indescribable. There is no way you can measure the overflowing love you have for your child, and you know what?

That’s exactly the way it should be.

Written by Crunch's Melissa Kartini

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