I’m Tired of Our Dating Culture of This Era and Here’s Why
by Alina Wong. |
There’s a huge difference in the dating culture from let’s say the 1950s compared to the one we know today.
First of all, we have the Internet which led to the wonderful introduction of online dating. Online dating originated in the mid-90s with kiss.com and match.com making their debut. Just like most things, ever-evolving, we have upgraded from clicking on profiles to swiping left or right. Although it's no longer a new thing to us, it is still wavering between the lines of taboo and socially accepted, which is odd, considering how evident and frequent people of this era use these online platforms.
It is a new age of dating, but I’m tired of it. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with using these applications. In fact, it’s a great way to meet new and different people, which conveniently leads me to my first point:
1. It's confusing
The dating culture in this era is not necessarily bad or good, it’s just confusing. It doesn’t necessarily limit yourself to any category, because you can opt for either online or offline dating. With online dating, the possibility of meeting someone new is endless and constantly updating—just keep swiping and swiping, but maybe that’s too many options to the point that there's no real meaning of meeting someone.
It’s definitely not impossible but it’s rare to be able to connect with a single person when you’re talking to plenty of others too. Yet in offline dating, you can’t deny the fact that sometimes there’s just nobody that catches your eye at school or work, maybe there are not enough options. We’re just stuck in a hole between both options of dating.
2. An era of technology and media
Should I subscribe to, pay or download some application in hopes of finding a partner? Or can I just go up to a stranger I find attractive and start a conversation? Sounds pretty forward but it’s practically the same thing as going on a dating app; the only difference is that it isn’t done behind a screen, where everybody texts with the same font and all message columns look the same. The idea of approaching someone online seems less scary for sure, but there’s just something less organic about it.
Should I subscribe to, pay or download some application in hopes of finding a partner? Or can I just go up to a stranger I find attractive and start a conversation? Sounds pretty forward but it’s practically the same thing as going on a dating app; the only difference is that it isn’t done behind a screen, where everybody texts with the same font and all message columns look the same. The idea of approaching someone online seems less scary for sure, but there’s just something less organic or genuine about it.
3. The checklist
Ah, social media, our best friend. Most of us have it, don’t we? What we post about online is for everyone to see and what we want everyone to see. In a way, we are creating our ideal self and that’s exactly what everybody else is doing as well. Sometimes we don’t realize it but this concept moulds itself into our dating culture too. We subconsciously build superficial ideologies of the ideal partner, creating a virtual checklist that someone should meet. With plenty of pictures and posts about the so-called ‘perfect couples’ online, we are constantly fed with what an ‘ideal’ should be. We complain about not being able to meet someone when maybe we’re just picky and unable to look beyond the ideal partner we’ve created.
4. Let's have a background check
Whenever you meet someone you find interesting or could be a potential partner, what is your first move?
A) Approach them, or B) Do some social media stalking first?
It’s normal really, I find myself guilty of it all the time. We just want to know a little bit about them first before daring to approach them, to find out if we have the same taste in music and movies, and to find out what they are studying or working as. With all of this available on their profile, I’ve already gotten to know them with a quick search and scroll. But when I look back at it, isn’t it better to just pick the first option? Because it’s real.
Sure, it’s scary but you’re meeting and talking to a physical person. That’s just not something scrolling through a profile can imitate. So, just seize the moment as it is and find your courage to do that next time.
However, I can’t deny the fact that finding someone who you are truly compatible with can almost be considered a miracle. Yes, I know, cringeworthy and filled with utter cheese but it’s true! So yeah, our dating culture these days isn’t the best but I’m sure people in the 1950s would’ve said the same thing.
It’s not a matter of good or bad, it’s just different. In the end, it’s whatever we make it be, so, to both couples and singles out there, we hope the best.
You may find out more about Alina on her Instagram as well