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How To Handle Grief Without Disrupting Your Responsibilities

Updated: Sep 20, 2019

by Nadhirah Roslan & Irfhan Fitri. |

Do you know that grief has its own stages? It includes denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance. This is what has been told by David Kessler in the article of Elisabeth about five stages of grief.

No matter on what stage are you are facing, we know it can get really overwhelming and at times it could disrupt your life and responsibilities. It won't be easy to handle it but as long as you have the will to face and overcome it, with time, you would be able to do so. It may take, months or even years but always remember that there will be a silver lining at the end of it all.

Here are some ways we hope would be able to help you to go through it without disrupting your responsibilities:

1. Face your emotions

I'm sure we've read or seen quotes on Instagram saying, “It is okay not to be okay”? Well, yes, it’s... half true. Maybe some people will try to avoid from the situation that has happened but no matter how far you run from it, the shadows will always following you.

Face it by releasing and embracing it because you are allowed to do so and unexpressed emotions will never die, they are buried alive and come forth later in uglier ways.

Sigmund Freud.

Know that those feelings are normal. Express it in ways that you think it can make you feel better. If you think that you need to cry, just cry. Give yourself a period of time to be sad and then, make a promise to yourself that you will try your very best to get out of that once you have given yourself that period. Or, maybe, express it by writing a journal and when you look back you would know how far you've come from.

2. Distract yourself as much as you can.

Once you've given yourself time to be sad, it's time to begin your journey to move on. You are allowed to express it but the trick is to not let those emotions stay with you.

Remember that only you can control the emotion, don’t let the emotion controls you and let yourself stuck in that phase. You will feel relieved after expressing and facing it but don’t stay in that situation for too long, let it go. Tell yourself and realise that there are other important things that you need to focus on. There are responsibilities that you need to fulfil.

Everyone in this world has its own obligations that and one of the ways you could try is to distract yourself with these responsibilities. For example, if you are a student, you know that you would need to get back to your studies. If you are a husband, you need to be strong to face the situation besides need to take care of yourself and your family. Get yourself out there and participate in projects and spend time with the people that you love - don't always be on your own.

3. Look out for support.

Maybe sometimes we think that being alone and avoiding other people when going through this kind of matters will make us feel good but trust me that we can’t stand alone forever.

You don’t have to hold the emotions on your own if you can’t. Seek support from either your friends or family. Find people who really care and are concern about you, the one who will say “I’m all ears” to you. Tell them what you feel, share it with them and seek advice from them. Losing people that we love is not an easy thing to handle. Let people know when you need someone’s shoulder to lean on. Ronal Reagan once said, “We can’t help everyone but everyone can help someone”.

4. Be real.

Past is past. Always remind yourself that there are certain things that we can’t change. Grief and loss are unpredictable because we didn’t know when will we lose someone, when will we face that tough situation.

Be realistic because we are not in a world of fantasy (unfortunately) where we can do anything that we like with just a tap of a finger. There will be days where we just want to bury ourselves in our tears on random nights and sleep in because we feel extremely unmotivated that morning to go to work. For example, you can’t get back the person that you have lost and it is a fact so have faith and try to come to terms that every single thing that happens in your life happens for a reason.

5. Think positively

The most important thing to do when you are facing any situation in your life is to be positive. We believe that with one positive thought in the morning could change your whole day. So I believe that with one positive thought, it could also help you go through the grief you're feeling and all the negative thoughts.

When you have already expressed your grief, sought for support, then it's time to get back on track. Recharge and embrace yourself with positive thoughts besides surround yourself with a positive environment. Remember that you were not born to live in negative surroundings. Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you’re going to live your life (Joel Osteen).

So stay strong and don’t le grief conquer your life!

You may know more about Nadhirah on her Instagram too.

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