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How Do You Maintain Friendships When Everyone Is Busy “Adulting”

Updated: Jul 14

by Ismah Sakina |


Have you ever been at a point where you feel like your brain is about to explode from thinking and planning on how to execute all of the responsibilities that you have? Especially when all of these tasks that we need to settle are so mundane, but since it is the ‘adult’ thing to do, we don’t really have a choice but to complete them anyway. Unwashed dishes in the sink, unwritten RSVP to invitation emails, decluttering the rooms in our homes and picking up the mails. Though these tasks feel tedious, as adults, we can’t go on with our day without having them all settled.


Then comes the bigger things like demands at work, monthly expenses for the household, paying the taxes and settling the bills, and not to mention the additional responsibilities when you’re in a relationship or married or having children.


“Being an adult can be lonely sometimes”. Have you heard this somewhere before? It doesn’t matter if we’re partnered or single, we spend our days, if not working, thinking and worrying; the constant tension of wanting to bond with our friends and families, longing for human interaction would still find its way to us. However, the struggle to make time for our friends is real. In this article, we will explore three simple and doable ways to maintain friendships when everyone is busy ‘adulting’.


Stay connected with your friends




10 years ago, this might have been impossible for our parents. However, we live in the time and age where the world is literally at the tip of our fingers; ‘a world without boundaries’, as they say, especially in communication. Although we tend to look past this, maintaining friendships can be as simple as saying hi to each other every once in a while; simply drop a “how are you?” and “what have you been up to?” text messages and maybe you’ll be able to strike up a short conversation or two while you’re at it.


And since we are all busy adulting, it might be rare to have the opportunity to meet our friends face to face. Which is why we should thank the internet for providing us with numerous ways to stay connected with our friends. Be it WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, they are all social media platforms that function to help us communicate with each other. So, it is only sensible for us to make full use of it to stay updated with our friends!


Make it a goal to text your deskmate from high school or your coursemate from college once a month. Make it a habit to reply to your friends’ stories and status updates (if you have any comments, that is) so that they know you’re paying attention and care about how they’re doing in life. That would make it possible for you to stay connected without taking up too much energy and time of your day.


Release stress together



Considering that we are all busy with making ends meet and taking care of ourselves and our commitments, we all need at least just one whole day in a month to chill and have fun. Some people go camping during the weekends to get away from the stressful life in the city, some people go for a picnic to enjoy the outdoors and some people find running in marathons therapeutic. Point is, we all make time to participate in activities that we enjoy, why not do it together with our friends?


Numerous activities can be done in a group. Hiking, volunteering, playing tourists or even joining cooking classes together. This way, we get to spend more time together while taking a break from the chaotic scene of adulthood. Surely, spending time together is essential in keeping friendships alive.


Fun activities can also help us relive the memories of our teenage or college years where most of our friendships took place, and it’s a nice opportunity to bond as we go back to a time of fun and endless possibilities shared with our friends. We get to prevent ourselves from burning out, we get to relive the simpler times, and we get to maintain our precious friendships, triple win!


Make time for coffee dates (or tea if you’re not a coffee person)


Since we are all very busy and barely even have time for ourselves, the only way possible to have a good face to face conversation with our friends, is by having a short date. Talk about anything and get each other updated, the topics can range from life and plans for the future to whatever happened last weekend. Over a cup of tea or coffee (or any beverage for that matter!) at a conveniently located coffee shop or the comfort of your own homes. The location doesn't matter that much if you are with good company.


Coffee dates aren’t just for teenagers or the hipster moms; when done right, they can promise quality conversations and meaningful time spent! It’s different from going to the movies or having lunch together where we focus on the plot of the movie or the quality of the food; meeting over a cup of coffee gets us to focus on the person whom we are with and pay attention to what they say.



Even though we are occupied with the hassles of adulting, that shouldn’t stop us from making efforts to maintain our friendships. After all, friends are like the family members we get to choose.

You may find out more about the writer on her Instagram.


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