• Melissa Kartini

10 Life Realities People Don't Want to Admit


As much as we'd like to think that we have life all figured out, we don't. There are just some things that you will only learn through experience, some things that will only truly sink in after you've lived through them.


And even if you've heard of some of them before, be it from your friends or well-meaning strangers, it's not quite the same as experiencing them on your own. Here are a couple of life realities that people don't want to admit:


Life isn't fair

It really isn't. In some parts of the world, you are already at a severe disadvantage for simply being born female. No matter which part of the world you're in, there is still evidence of racial discrimination. Some people were born into rich families, some were born into poverty. Some were born able-bodied, some were not. Some were born in first world countries, some were not. You get the gist.


Life isn't fair. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can take action to do something for yourself.


People don't care about you as much as you think

In this vast, vast universe with billions of people on the planet we inhabit, you are but a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things. People aren't going to care about that dumb thing you did a week ago. They aren't going to care that your bag doesn't match your clothes, at least not for more than a second. They certainly aren't going to care about this one small decision you just made; they're not going to care in the next ten years, five years, or even a week from now.


We're all busy with our own lives to be truly concerned about other people. And if there are people who are overly concerned, then it might just be about time for them to get lives of their own.


Looks do matter

It doesn't matter how much television, music and movies try to tell you otherwise, looks do matter. There is a reason why people put so much effort into looking good for work- why they'd go through all the trouble for immaculately pressed suits, why women wear makeup, and why men make sure they are well-groomed. It is because it helps them get further in their careers. Certainly, looks aren't the be all end all, but they certainly do matter, especially when it comes to first impressions.


Let's face it. We humans are pretty visuals creatures. We love looking at pretty things.


People come and go

Some people are meant to be in your life, some aren't. This is one of the brutal truths in life. That best friend that you have now may not be your bestie a year down the road, and that girl you never spoke to until last week might just become your new best friend.


Though that being said, when it really comes down to it, no one really sticks around forever. Be it because of conflict, a case of drifting apart, or a tragic passing, you can't count on someone being around forever.


You aren't that important

Related to the second point. You just aren't that important. Sure, you may be good at this one thing, but there are billions of other people in the world. Tons of others who are just as good as you are at your job, tons of others who are better at it. While it is fine to celebrate achievements, it is a good rule of thumb to remember that no matter how skilled or talented you are at something, there'll always be someone better.


Remember to be humble and always strive to improve. Otherwise, someone else might take your place.


Money is pretty important

If only it were true that you don't need money. The truth, however, is that you need money. You don't only need it, money is related to pretty much just about everything.


Want food? You need to pay for it with money. Want a place to live? You need money for that. Want an education? Again, you need to shell out money for that. Need to be treated for cancer? Money. Sure, it's entirely possible to live without money if you live in the middle of nowhere, far, far away from civilization, but that's not very realistic, is it? Unless of course, you're very determined to do so, then by all means.


You can't make everyone happy

You could do everything perfectly. You could have perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect manners. A high IQ. A good family background, a charitable nature and a high education. None of these, not even a combination of all of these would ensure that everyone would like you. It is just a fact of life; be it for reasonable reasons or otherwise, some people will like you, some will not.


So rather than trying to make everyone happy, just do the best you can in life, and accept that there'll always be those who'll dislike you.


What you make of life is up to you

Some people say it is not what happened to you that matters, it is how you handle it. This might be something that is easier to understand when you do it yourself, but once you do, you will reap the benefits.


What does this mean, precisely? Well, for instance, it is definitely shitty to not get that promotion you wanted, but rather than sit around and complain about it, the best thing you can do is do something about it. Improve yourself, learn a new skill, find out what it is you lack and take it from there. Mould yourself into an employee that is worthy of that promotion. And if the reason of your not getting that promotion has more to do with bias than merit? Then look for opportunity elsewhere, where you and your work will be appreciated.


Time is valuable

Time is that one commodity that we cannot get more of. No matter how much we'd like for it to be, there'll never be enough of it. Which is why you need to learn to manage and prioritise the time that you have. Unless you're in sore need of a recharge, don't waste your time doing nothing all day. Read a book, spend time with your friends and family, take up that class you've been meaning to all this while. There are many things you can do right now that will help you lead a more fulfilling life. Don't be that person who is full of regrets.


Learn from the Germans. Time is of the essence, so don't waste it.


Investing in yourself is the most worthwhile thing you can do

More satisfying than buying a luxurious dress for yourself is the feeling of investing in yourself. After all, while you might not get to see the results immediately, you will a few years, months or even weeks down the road depending on what it is you invested in. It might be education; this will help you land bigger and better jobs. It might be fitness; you will look and feel younger than your peers, even after 20 years down the road. It might even be a skill; you could start a business with it.


Learn to delay gratification, and you will reap the benefits later in life.


Written by Crunch's Melissa Kartini

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