Why My Mother Is Truly The Superhero Who Has Shaped Who I Am Today
*This article is very personal to me and I hope it gets you thinking about your supermom too.
Naturally, as a young girl, my father was my hero. He always made it to the ‘My Superhero’ essays! My mother was perceived as just a bystander parent who scolds me often and chases me around the house with a hanger when I was mischievous. Now, don’t get me wrong. I appreciate my father still, but I feel somehow that we were taught that it is usually the male figures who are regarded as heroes instead of female figures.
As I grew into adolescence and well into adulthood, I realised how my mother was behind the scenes all this while. Silently (and sometimes loudly), she has shaped me to be the lady that the world would look up to. So, here are some reasons why she is my superhero!
She is the first female figure in my life.
I am the firstborn of my family. So, I do not have any other female figures to look up to except my mother, who I am extremely lucky to have and grateful for. As a housewife, she had plenty of time to spend with my brother and me. Similarly, we also had plenty of time to observe her take on life.
She is loud and talkative with everyone, making her the life of any party. She is friendly and approachable—especially my friends, making her the cool mom! Not only that, but she loves hugs and kisses. This means we were showered with them countless times even when we rejected them as teenagers! She is conservative in her thoughts and actions, but always open to new changes around her even when it’s uncomfortable.
I realize I grew up with such an amazing female figure to look up to. She truly shaped the way I look at life.
She is not well-educated.
My mother did not complete her primary education due to family poverty. That alone has always been her biggest and only insecurity. As much as she is confident speaking in Tamil and Malay, when it comes to English, she was and sometimes is very shy and ashamed of her inadequacy. She has a deep fear that people would laugh at her because of this.
That silent hurt and fear pushed her to give us the best education she can. She sent us for tuition classes, she bought us any revision books that were beneficial to us, and she always did her best to make sure we had all we needed to excel in school.
When I laid my graduation hat on her and thanked her, she could only respond with tears in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. Yes, my mother is not well-educated, but she is my superhero who made sure that I am.
She is my biggest critic and supporter.
She was the first person to comment on my weight gain, to point out my acne scars, and to sigh at my frizzy hair. These things used to annoy me when I was younger; I thought that she never saw anything good enough in me and that I was never perfect for her. It made me feel inadequate sometimes, but then I came to understand that it wasn’t her fault.
She is showing love her way: by pointing out my flaws and dragging me to get them fixed instantly. She was not raised in a household where parents show love with encouragement and kind words. As the 6th child amongst 7 children, I guess you can say she was pretty neglected. Now with only two kids, she just wants to give us the best. This may put her in a contradictory position as a critic and supporter but hey, no one is perfect!
She brings me cut fruits.
I know this is an odd reason to mention why my mother is my superhero. However, I feel it’s a necessary point that defines her and the unconditional love she has for her family—especially with her children. I once read a post on Facebook saying ‘You can never find unconditional love like the woman who cuts fruits and brings them to your room without you asking’. It hit me hard because that’s true. No one has ever done that for me except my mom. This is why even now at 25 years old, I let her cut fruits, arrange them in a bowl, and bring them to me whenever I’m home.
It’s not that I don’t know where the fruits are, or that I’m too lazy to cut them myself. It’s just a way for me to allow her to dote on me like the child I was back then.
She is the strongest woman I know.
I am unable to divulge too much personal information about my mother here. But, all I can say is that she is the strongest woman I’ve ever known in my entire life. I’m sure she will hold that title up forever.
Watching her as she was struggling with lack of education, feeling insecure about her abilities, raising kids with the best education when she could hardly read and dealing with marital issues on her own made me stronger and more determined to make things better in the future.
Sometimes I disagree with the methods she uses. However, I take it as a learning point where I learn what to do and what not to do in certain situations.
With all the reasons above, I don’t think I need to explain more about why my mother is truly the superhero behind the scenes of my life, grooming and shaping me to be the daughter and individual that I am today.
I owe it all to you, mommy!