Woman looking in a mirror sadly

Mindset Changes You Can Make To Have A More Positive Outlook Of Life

If you ask me, it should be “mindset maketh the man”. People tend to judge one’s character based on their clothing and appearance. However, it is undeniable that these judgements are based on superficial entities that will never reflect the full extent of a person’s character. If you have read my previous article on ‘Important Mindset Changes That Made Me A Better Person’, you will know how much of a huge deal mindset can be. It shapes our perception of the world that has a tremendous influence on how we interpret everything taking place around us and towards us.


Happy woman holding a phone and smiling


With that being said, altering your mindset does not immediately turn you into a positivity guru. However, these mindset changes can help you take the first steps towards having a more positive outlook on life.


1. You are your own best friend.

The most important mindset change is to perceive yourself as your own best friend. Take a moment to think and reflect; How we treat the people we love is vastly different from how we treat ourselves. While this may manifest as a myriad of things, let’s dive into how we speak to our best friends and ourselves. Isn’t it so much easier to throw harsher phrases like “you are useless” or “you are good for nothing” at ourselves than towards those we love? We despise violence but overlook the violence we commit towards ourselves through our negative thoughts and feelings.

Woman looking in a mirror sadly


You can never feel positivity to a satisfying extent, without being satisfied with the relationship you have with yourself; when you’re feeling inadequate and poor about yourself. You will never be truly content while spitting negative self-talk at yourself constantly. So, ask yourself often if this is how you would treat your best friend before you do or say something to yourself. If it is not, think of how you would approach it if it is your best friend and practice it.


Remember that someday you will walk this earth alone, without your parents, siblings, friends, lovers or even your spouses. So at some point, you better start loving the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with: Yourself.


2. You can be an agent of change.

While we strive for more positivity in our lives, being a source of positivity to those around us can certainly help. Instead of perceiving yourself as a bystander in your quest for positivity, perceive yourself as an agent of change. Cogitate about how you can make someone’s life better through your thoughts, words and acts. The realisation and mindset that I can initiate positivity and create ripple effects in this world is a key to a more positive outlook of life. This mindset when translated into actions, even if they are very tiny ones certainly has a great impact on others. When we are aware of the positive impact we are making in someone else’s lives, we tend to feel more positivity in ours.


I previously had this habit of sharing positive messages and posts on my Instagram stories, even on my bad days; especially on my bad days. Even on such days, based on the messages that I have received from my followers, everything I post functions as a positive reminder to them. So, on such days, I am slightly content with my ability to bring some light into someone else’s lives.


Smiling woman working in front of a laptop


3. Don’t try to fit things into boxes of ‘ought to be’.

Our brain loves to seek patterns and associations in the world and generalize them. Implicit biases are just one of the examples of it where we unconsciously attribute certain qualities to certain groups of people. This is also known as stereotyping. Let it be things, people or experiences, don’t try to fit them into rigid boxes to make sense of them. It’s understandable that it does take place on an unconscious level sometimes. But, it is our responsibility to be conscious about how we interpret our experiences too.


The reason to do this is to take off the enormous pressure that exists for how things ought to be. We expect things to exist, play out or just be present in a certain manner that largely takes away the complexity of human experiences. After reconnecting with my best friend through his mother, I have now developed this entirely new relationship with his family. In my head, it was weird at first. None of what was happening resembled anything that I have previously thought as what interacting with my friends’ family would look like. However, I soon realised, the ‘weirdness’ that I felt came from my expectation of how I thought relationships with a friends’ family ought to be like.


Let your experiences flow without trying to fit them into boxes of ‘ought to be’. In other words, accept what already is and your life will become richer and your connections with others become deeper. As we all know, acceptance is the first step to happiness.



I should warn you again that these three mindset changes will not turn you into a positivity guru. Evolving into a better and more positive person is a journey, not a destination. Being your own best friend, an agent of change and acceptance will definitely aid in this journey.

Psychology student. Writer. Speaker. A bundle of sunshine.

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