woman in the toilet to physically pamper herself and relax

How To Practice The 5 Love Languages On Yourself

When I first heard about the five love languages, my immediate thought was this is useful information for my future relationship. Knowing this would help me love my partner in a more intentional and meaningful way and vice versa. But then it dawned on me, what about the way I love myself? How often do I speak my love language? So you see, we often forget that this concept does not only apply to romantic relationships. But, it can also be used to nurture our love for ourselves.


woman getting ready at home as a treat of love language


Now, what are the five love languages? Based on The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman, there are five different ways we give and receive love. They are words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service. This goes to show that we give and receive love in various ways. So, knowing your love language can help a lot in your quest for self-love. If you don’t know your love language, you can find out through this quiz: 5lovelanguages. 


Done? Now, let’s start speaking your love language that speaks to your hearts.


1. Words of affirmation – Speak kindly to yourself daily

How you start your morning matters more than you think. Try starting your day by using positive affirmations. Words of affirmation help in building our confidence and setting our minds in the right tone. One thing you can start doing is simply by giving yourself more credit. Don’t believe me? Well, then believe in neuroplasticity.


woman writing down their love language


According to this article, neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to modify, change, and adapt both structure and function throughout life and in response to experience. In other words, you are capable to rewire and program your beliefs if you practice positive affirmations daily. If it is done correctly. Meaning, affirmation is not only about the saying. You have to put in the work. Like any other thing in the world, it requires practice. You can’t just say one phrase and expect it to magically change you. Say it, believe it, and take action to become it.



2. Quality time – Give yourself a break

Giving yourself some me-time is crucial if your love language is quality time. Be it your hobbies or bingeing on Netflix, give yourself that quality time to focus on yourself. Quality time also means that you don’t over-book, over-schedule, or over-commit yourself. Learn to take up only a few tasks in a day. Just because you can do it, does not mean you should.


woman listening to music on the bed


You might think you are being helpful, but this shows that you are foregoing your self-respect to appease others. So, sorry people, please. Sometimes, you just have to say no.  As a representative of people pleasers, I recommend you to have a read of this article if you need a practical approach to prioritising your time.


3. Physical touch – Pamper yourself

I know what you’re thinking. Do I have to find somebody to hug me? What can I do if my love language is physical touch? Well, good news! You don’t need another person if your primary love language is physical touch.


woman in the toilet to physically pamper herself and relax


One of the things you can start doing is developing a shower routine. Give yourself a lymphatic massage or dry-brushing before showering. If you have the budget and need that extra care, consider investing in a weighted blanket. If you are in perfect health and do not have any illnesses such as sleep apnea or asthma, a weighted blanket is perfect for you.


A weighted blanket is usually used for people with anxiety. But, if you are one of the lucky ones that do not have anxiety, a fluffy and soft blanket would be enough. It’s like giving yourself a warm hug after a long day. Bonus point: You can have the blanket all to yourself. There is no need to share.



4. Receiving gifts – You deserve nice things

No, you are not materialistic if receiving gifts is your love language. Let’s just have that out of the way. There is nothing wrong with wanting gifts. I’m sure we all have heard the phrase ‘self-reward.’ So, fill your space with only the things that you love. While you’re at it, declutter and throw away the things that no longer make you happy. There is nothing wrong with buying yourself some nice things.


woman buying flowers to treat herself


As long as your budget is in check, I say go for it. Buy yourself those flowers and treat yourself to a nice meal. What better way to gift yourself than taking yourself out on a date? If you want to take it up a notch, give yourself the gift of doing things you want to do. Sign up for that Pilates class, enroll yourself in art class, go on that bungee-jumping trip. Investing in yourself is an act of gifting as well.


It may seem daunting at first but you won’t regret it. And if you’re the kind who spends a lot on other people, you need this advice the most. Although it is a noble act, stop treating other people for a while and treat yourself for a change. Also, word of advice: Don’t feel guilty about it.


5. Acts of service – You don’t have to do everything alone

People whose love language is acts of service appreciate it when other people help lighten their load. So, help yourself by hiring people to clean your space over the weekend. Ease your mental burden of having to clean everything so you can focus on more things you enjoy doing. You can also choose to organise your space. This might feel like a contradiction to the point above.


two couple doing laundry as act of service


But, as someone who speaks this language, organising my space makes me happy. I feel calm and happy when my space is clean and organised. If you don’t mind cleaning like myself, then you can hire someone to run errands for you. Whichever you think will give you more stress, outsource them. You don’t need to be in control of everything and you definitely do not have to do it all.



Understanding your love language is not only crucial for your romantic relationships. It is also crucial for the relationships with yourself, family, friends, and colleagues. Everyone’s love language is different. So it only makes sense that your self-care routine is different from other people. Your love language may change over the course. Your priorities will change and that’s completely fine. But now that you have a general view of it, you know what to expect and what to do the next time you need to apply them. After all, the longest relationship you will have is with yourself. So, you might as well take good care of it.


If you like more topics on taking care of yourself, check out these articles on Simple & Low Budget Self-Care Ideas You Can Do In The Comfort Of Your Own Home and 5 Self-Care Package Ideas To Show Your Appreciation For Your Loved Ones.


An introvert by nature that can only be lured out when there is coffee. Chases deadline for a living while dreaming of her next getaway during her spare time or busy reading her to-be-read list that won’t stop growing.

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