3 Ways to Pick Yourself Up When Everything Doesn’t Seem to ‘Go Your Way’
What happens if life doesn’t seem to go your way? You’ll see this in a multitude of movies or even books. The protagonist feels lost in life, moves to a big city, and finds someone who becomes their turning point. Then, eventually leads them to find their purpose and it’s another happily ever after plot.
We know how it ends, yet, a lot of us cannot seem to stop watching or reading these plots. As a result, it creates an unrealistic expectation of how life seems to go. When in reality, life is fluid. We don’t have the luxury of knowing what is going to happen or how it is going to happen.
Thus, when life hits us with a tonne of bricks, we don’t know what to do other than to either get hit or try our best to defend ourselves. Either way, both get us hurt – emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Instead of following these cliché plots, this article will be your gentle and fulfilling wake-up call on how to properly pick yourself back up when everything doesn’t seem to go your way.
1. Vent, Vent, VENT!
Grab your closest friends or family members, and start talking like how Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe did in this episode. When you start talking out loud about how you’re feeling and how you got to where you are, what you’re essentially doing is acknowledging. Acknowledging your thoughts and emotions while having a support system that actively listens along with you is pertinent when trying to pick yourself back up again.
When you have a support system, you get various kinds of support – empathy, compassion, and the most crucial one: criticism. Not just any criticism, constructive criticism. Their objectivity in analysing the situation helps you look for loopholes and areas you may have overlooked. Therefore, this will provide you with a new perspective.
Additionally, you’re also listening to your thoughts in a more organised manner unlike just bottling them up. The latter tend to stay in a messy swirl of emotions. Those feelings can become difficult to identify over time. It doesn’t just have to be speaking, it can be writing or having a workout session to sweat yourself out. Ultimately, the idea here is to express and healthily acknowledge your frustrations.
2. Build a Vision Board
What exactly are vision boards? They are a collage of images, affirmations of your dreams and desires which serve as a purpose of motivation. Essentially, it helps you visualise your end goal much more clearly and navigate your journey towards them while grounding yourself.
It creates an emotional connection between you and your goals, making them much closer and attainable than you think. At times, some of your goals may seem too daunting or wildly out there. However, that is the whole point of a vision board. It is to see the magnitude of your capabilities and where they will take you. Whether that be into your near or far future.
The moment you start believing in yourself, your brain will automatically start to think of the steps to take you there. So make it a daily habit to look through your vision board at the start of your morning and at the end of your day to remind yourself why you began where you did in the first place. Add and reduce along the way to fit into your lifestyle and stick to it!
3. Revaluate & Prioritise
This is the time for you to honestly reflect, re-evaluate and revise your plans by asking yourself these three questions: Were your plans too ambitious? Was there proper planning? Were your expectations managed by the reality of your steps to get there?
Most of the time, when things don’t go our way, the first person we would blame would be anyone and anything but ourselves because it’s easier. It’s easier because, in our eyes, we did everything right, right? Or did we? As we continue to wallow in self-pity and self-loathing of how our plans didn’t go as planned due to external factors, we will never get to achieve what we set out to do.
Why? Because we refuse to acknowledge ourselves. Yes, it will be difficult but dear reader, no amount of external factors will be able to cover you for so long. It’s up to you to figure out what works and does not work for you.
List down your plans and prioritise the steps needed to take you closer to your goal. By listing down, you’re consciously looking at what you need to do and that itself helps ground yourself. It doesn’t matter how small the steps are. As long as you’re constantly moving and managing your expectations, you won’t be as disappointed when things don’t go your way.
In the end, there will be more moments where life throws you an even bigger brick or decides to leave a small one in your path where you can’t see. Sure, you may lay there for a few moments, just wallowing in frustration and probably tiredness. However, it’s up to you if you wish to lay down or continue. Show the universe that their bricks are made of nothing. Then again, if you’re here, that means you’re still finding a way to pick yourself back up right?
Another small bonus tip: End the day on a high note with a good, delicious tub of any ice cream of your choice and a movie night in. Nothing like a sweet treat to recharge and remind yourselves to take a break from the harsh reality, and get kickin’ the next day.
For further reading, check out these articles on 5 Ways To Engage In Life When You’re Feeling Down and How To Stay Focused At Work When You’re Having A Bad Day to boost your serotonin during a bad day.