Lady raising her hand in positivity

3 Negative Self-Beliefs You Should Start Challenging To Push Yourself

It’s not easy to challenge our own minds, but it is something that certainly we should do.


This is because our belief system is always with us, influencing our thoughts and feelings about ourselves and the environment. We can fall victim to self-defeating thoughts that have a detrimental impact on our life.


 Lady raising her hand in positivity

Let’s dive in on 3 negative self-beliefs that you should start challenging to push yourself.


1. Perfectionism

Though often seen as a positive trait, it actually tends to lead you more towards procrastination and failure.


You may assume that any minor blunder or flaw makes you a less worthy person and that as a result, people will not accept you for who you truly are. Consequently, you may avoid completing tasks for fear of not being able to accomplish them as well as you would like.


sticky notes with positive words to combat negative beliefs


Thus, it is important for you to push yourself through this, as perfectionism may have a profound impact on your belief system, which is frequently manifested in your personal self-talk and thinking. For example, you might judge yourself by saying that you “must be crazy” if you have panic attacks, which is not true at all. Alas, self-criticism like this erodes your self-esteem and can derail your efforts to cope with difficulties in your life.


2. A Need for Accomplishments

Whether it’s in your health, relationship, or job, achieving your goals should give you a sense of pride and accomplishment. Many people, however, mistakenly feel that their accomplishments determine their self-worth. I.e., you may believe that the only way to increase your own worth is to increase your wealth, prestige, intelligence, or accomplishments.


Pink and black boxing gloves


People who subscribe to this self-defeating mindset are unfortunately rarely content with themselves or fulfilled in their lives. Therefore, it is important to challenge this mindset, as it will free you from your own unrealistic expectations. Remember that your worth is your worth alone; you are still worthy of love, respect, and pride as a human being, regardless of your wealth, prestige, intelligence, or accomplishments.


3. Constant Need for Approval

The majority of people desire to be liked by others. This is as normal as it can get. When one’s self-esteem is dependent on the acceptance of others, however, this need can become self-defeating.


Ethic couple laughing and joyful


Those who value themselves based on how well others like them can be easily irritated by any criticism or difference of opinion. They may become aggressive and defensive as a result of simple suggestions from others. This would produce an ironic consequence, whereby others might be driven away from you.


Confront this mindset with the truth that no matter who you are, you will not be liked by everyone. Keeping that in mind, you are a valuable person anyway, regardless of the number of people who agree with you, or who like you. And to those who do like you, they may like you as a person and are just interested in your accomplishments; most likely they do not have any ulterior motive or being two-faced.


Now that we identified three negative self-beliefs that we may face, let’s talk about the three steps on how to challenge them to push ourselves.

1. Recognize and acknowledge those thoughts and beliefs

“Wait, aren’t we going to banish them? Why the recognition and acknowledgment in the first place?”

Well, the first step in solving a problem is recognizing there is one.


Joyful friends high fiving not believing in negative doubts


Recognizing the importance of our self-defeating belief system in our life is the first step in changing it. Review this list of erroneous beliefs and start detecting them in your daily life. You’ll notice what scenarios appear to trigger you the most once you’ve started identifying your common incorrect beliefs. This understanding provides you with the opportunity to alter your beliefs.


2. Assess whether your self-defeating beliefs are based on any fact

    • Do your friends really reject you because of your superficial flaws?
    • Do your loved ones still care about you if you don’t receive a promotion at work, lose weight, or earn a specific amount of money?
    • Is someone giving you advice because they dislike you or because they genuinely care about your well-being?

By facing your erroneous beliefs on a regular basis, you can begin to form new ones that are more practical and less anxiety-inducing.


3. Recognize and acknowledge if you fail to do Step 1 and 2

Along the process of doing Steps 1 and 2, you would fail a lot. There will be times, those thoughts dominate your head, to the point you can’t even do Step 1 and 2. There will be times, where you will be emotionally overwhelmed by those thoughts, although you completely know that those thoughts are not true. Then, you might feel frustrated with yourself.


Asian woman smiling at her friend


However, bear in mind that it is hard to change our self-beliefs that have been ingrained deep in our minds. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Take a deep breath, allow yourself to experience them, observe the sources of those thoughts, and take things one step at a time. Mistakes will be made; just try again, and you will be okay. With time, you would see increments of self-development within yourself.



To sum this up, maybe you couldn’t choose how your mindset about yourself developed in the past, but you do have complete influence over how you want to grow it in the future. The best time to improve yourself might be yesterday, but the second-best time to do so is today. All the best!


For further reading, check out these articles on Negative Self-Talk: How Do You Overcome It? and Mindset Changes You Can Make To Have A More Positive Outlook Of Life. 

An introvert writer since 2009. Writes about personal growth, psychology & looking at life from a different perspective. Enjoys a lazy evening watching YouTube on the cozy bed.

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